Have you tried this stuff called peanut butter? It's great. My owner, who all the other owners call Dave, gives me peanut butter all the time. I love it because it never seems to run out. I just lick and lick and lick and lick for hours. It's so sweet and salty you all should try it.
When Dave first gave me peanut butter, he served it to me on those shiny things they call spoons. But lately, he's been putting peanut butter in some awfully strange places. Two months ago he had me lick it straight out of his hand and I thought that was weird. Then, he put it on his toes and I licked it off there. The peanut butter was still salty and sweet, but it also tasted like sweat and lint, which admittedly was a step up from the day before when I ate my own poop.
Then, last week, Dave removed those gray things he wears on his legs and rubbed the peanut butter on this strange looking baggy he keeps between his legs. Boy, did that make the peanut butter even saltier. Dave must have liked it because he kept laughing as I licked the peanut butter off, and so did the other owners he invited over to watch. Now he's putting peanut butter on that baggy every day, except when girl Dave or old Dave and old girl Dave come over.
Anyway, I just wanted to share with you how much I love Dave because he gives me peanut butter, which I love.
via destructoid http://ift.tt/2omprjG