We say to Dont engage, because engaging leads to loss of control. Responding is giving bullies what they want, which is usually to humiliate you. But if the goal of not engaging is to retain some measure of control over when and how we respond to aggravation, then never responding at all to anything is just another form of ceding control. Its allowing terrible things to go unchallenged. Its replacing anger with complacence. Either way, the bullies win.
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